Recently, our big project has been the remodel of the bathroom.  The paint on the ceiling and wallpaper on the walls had been peeling pretty much since I shortly moved in here, and everything was really outdated but we were putting things off until we had the extra cash around to remodel.  That was until the sink stopped up.  I made my handyman aware of this and as usual, he immediately went to the sink and took the pipes apart ready to clear out another clog.  Well, there wasn’t a clog there…turns out that there was a bunch of back-up (which now explains the slight odor coming from the sink) that was a result of the drain pipe that goes down through the floor and to the basement being corroded and rusted out, I guess.  My handyman knows all the details.  This required taking the sink out to get the problem fixed. And, this in turn started our bathroom project a little sooner than expected.  Since we were taking the old sink out, we should go ahead and put the sink that mom and Bruce were going to give us from their bathroom (they will soon be doing a remodel as well) in it’s place.  And, since we had to do this, we might as well replace the crappy stained linoleum.  Heck, why don’t we just go ahead and finish taking all the wallpaper and tiles off the wall, repaint, and put up the wall paneling up that I have been wanting in the tile’s place.  Oh wait, if we do this the shower surround will look like crap since it is all yellowed from age and the paneling will be white.  And the old cracked fluorescent light above the medicine cabinet really needs replaced.  Don’t forget the exhaust fan light that no longer has a cover over the light because it broke.  So, Scott started tearing everything down…tiles, wallpaper, flooring, shower walls, light fixtures, exhaust fan, paint from ceiling, etc.  The room was completely bare with the exception of our toilet and tub, which no longer had the faucet or knobs for it since they needed to be taken off for the shower walls to come down.  We basically had a clean slate.  May well have replaced the toilet and tub, but it would have been quite the task to take the tub out and put a new one in…probably would have required some walls coming down, and the toilet (knock on wood) seems to be in good shape.

Once Scott got everything torn down and out of there, it was my turn to begin the painting process.  Trouble was noticed in the very beginning.  The Kilz didn’t seem to want to stick to the ceiling.  Scott got some Kilz in a spray can and we tried that…seemed to work.  So, then began the process of putting on the ceiling paint (recommended for bathrooms).  Yikes…the kilz is peeling off!  So, Scott scrapes it all off for me, we wipe down the ceiling again, thinking that maybe it was the bleach we used to clean the mildew off the ceiling, and I tried again.  Same thing!  We have wasted two days on a ceiling!  So, we decided that we will be putting paneling on the ceiling that matches the paneling on the lower half of our walls, and I moved on to the walls.  This, thank goodness moved pretty smoothly.  Scott then proceeded to put the new exhaust fan in (we bought this a few years ago with intentions of putting it in and doing all this sooner).  Well, it was totally the wrong size.  So, Scott set out on the hunt for another exhaust fan that would work.  All he could find was a fan that would require us to make a larger hole in the ceiling for one side, and patching up another.  Guess they don’t make that size fan anymore!  The next day, I came home from work to find a new exhaust fan in the ceiling.  YAY!

Now, for the shower walls.  It was about 9:30 pm before we unpacked the new walls.  OMG!!!  The walls are paper thin, and they were cracked in several places.  That wasn’t going to work!  But, we couldn’t do anything that night since Menard’s was closed and we needed to wait for a pay day anyhow to upgrade the walls when we returned them. I guess you get what you pay for…the walls were only $70.00.  In the meantime, I started laying the tiles on the floor, and came up one tile short (I made a few mistakes and wasted a couple tiles).  But, once I picked up a few spare at Menard’s the following day, the floor was laid.  Once we got paid, we went to Menard’s and got walls that were thicker, and of course $200.00, that I had already picked out on my previous trip soon to get the extra tiles, some light bulbs, and oh yeah…a new heat register.  Scott went to put the first wall up, braced it overnight, and when we took the brace off the following morning it seemed to be holding.  About an hour later I went in and saw that it was starting to separate from the wall.  What?!?!  By this time I had already been in tears a few times over this bathroom (it began with the ceiling) …I don’t handle things not working out too well, especially when I have to shower in a dingy basement.  We concluded after talking to several people that we needed a different glue.  The glue girl at Menard’s must not have known what she was talking about.  But, just to be safe, we are also going to buy some paneling to go on the wall before the shower wall to provide a nice smooth surface, and to hopefully hold things better.  And, I insisted on A LOT of glue!  We tried this, and braced it for well over 24 hours before slowly taking off the braces, as if taking them off quickly would mean the walls wouldn’t stick.  They stuck..but the true test is waiting a few hours, lesson learned from before.  A few hours later the wall was still sticking strong, so Scott proceeded with the 2nd wall and we waited another 24 hours.  It stuck!!!  I made a trip to Lowes to get a few more tubes of glue.  And then, the final back wall was put into place.  Yep, it was sticking the next day too.  YAY!!!  Scott then worked at cutting out space for the window in the wall. 

I must admit, we have slowed down a little bit and are still running in to little glitches here and there, but there can’t be many more problems left, right?  First glitch being finding a window kit for the shower window.  Not much luck at finding one anywhere that wouldn’t take forever to get, so we are sealing it up using our creativity.  We don’t need no stinkin’ kit!!  This is still in the process, but I think it will work out great.  I have a handy man, you know!  But, we have been noticing water on the floor after showers and baths.  Last night, I finally pinned down where it was coming from while giving Jonathan his bath.  It is coming out from between the shower wall and our wall where we haven’t caulked yet.  I called Scott in, and he believes it is because of the faucet leaking.  I hope this is all it is.  He will be picking up a new faucet after work today.  Keep your fingers crossed for us, will ya?  Anyhow, I am kind of glad we didn’t caulk that small area yet, or the water would just be collecting back there…can you imagine?  It isn’t good that water is back there at all, but would be so much worse if it didn’t have an escape.

Anyhow, we still have the molding to put up after the window area and faucet are fixed, the door still needs put on (can’t wait for a private shower and toilet again), and the ceiling still needs done (I hope that process doesn’t mess up what we have done so far).  And I thought this would be done in a weekend (well over three weeks ago).

Jonathan has also been keeping us quite busy, but thanks to my mom and dad, we have gotten some relief from dealing with both him and the bathroom on some days.  Jonathan is in what I like to call "brat mode".  He wants what he wants and if you don’t get it for him, or allow him to do what he wants you can expect a fit.  A lot of time-outs have been the result of this, which seems to slowly be working.  If you know him, you know he can’t stand to sit still!  But, it is a work in progress. The potty training process isn’t going so well either.  I know the little stubborn butt knows what he needs to do, but just refuses to do it…probably because it requires sitting still for a short period of time.  We will get there though…I hope!  He also isn’t getting along really well with Belle.  He loves her, don’t get me wrong, but chases her around the house a lot too.  If you take your eye off him for a minute, he is chasing her.  And then we wonders why she nips at him.  This is a process that is causing me much more anxiety than the potty training.  I discipline him for chasing her, and I discipline her for nipping at him.  She only nips at him when he is not a threat to her and is walking/running in the opposite direction of her….not when he is doing something to provoke it.  I’m about to pull my hair out over this, and Scott is about to beat a dog with a sledgehammer (yes, he actually said this – jokingly I hope).  Other than that (I know I sound so negative about Jonny in this blog) he is my little angel, and my reason for living…he needs his mommy!  I miss him when he is gone, no matter how bad he was before he left; my heart breaks when he cries, as well as when he refuses to give or take a huggy or kissy. The thought of ever losing him is unbearable to me.  I’ve had numerous times where I have been an uncontrollable mess just imagining what it would be like if something happened to Jonny…usually whenever I hear of tragic things happening to other children.  And, I cherish every single adorable little thing he does, or milestone in his life when he shows me how much he is growing.  And, I dread the growing up part at the same time…wanting him to stay little forever so I never have to let him go.  Especially since my dream of having another child may never happen. 

Anyhow, sorry the update was so long but I had a lot of updating to do.  I hope to post some pictures of our completed bathroom soon!

Love,

Angie

Scott and I had an amazing time in Berlin, Ohio.  It was so relaxing and peaceful, and there was nothing like hearing and seeing horses and buggies pass outside our cottage.  It truly was the best setting I can think of for us to get married, and we were not ready to come back, except for the fact that I missed Jonathan terribly.

We have the entire ceremony on video, and Scott will hopefully be doing some editing on it and posting it on his website shortly.  In the meantime, feel free to go to his site at Rankspace.com and read his latest blog about our trip.  He goes in to great detail and I would feel like I am copying him if I just repeated everything he wrote.

I am confident that Scott and I will pursue and conquer our dreams together as a family, including a home better suited for us and possibly another child in the near future.  We have a lot of things to get in order though before these dreams can become reality.

Love,
Angie

Scott and I started dating on October 14, 2006 with a little help from my mom, believe it or not. She had Scott in mind for me before we hooked up…she knew him because he does the computer/network stuff for Bruce’s shop and thought he would be a very nice guy for me to hook up with. Scott came to her house to look at her computer and I was there at the time. I’m not sure if this was planned or not. Anyhow, I bit and mentioned that my computer at home was running very slowly and he came over a few nights later to take a look at it. We talked for several hours while he worked on my computer and were on our first date shortly after that. As you know, shortly thereafter he moved in and then I got pregnant with Jonathan. Scott is the best companion I can imagine for myself. He loves me for who I am and is a wonderful father to Matthew and Jonathan.

We have been through a lot together, both trails and glorious times, and have conquered all of them together…at each others side. He was amazingly supportive when we had the ectopic pregnancy and is really a very sensitive man. He keeps it bottled up at times, but I have learned to sometimes be able to tell what his actions mean, and they tell a lot. He took great care of me when I was recovering, and took over most of the household chores. Even when I am not down and out, he will help me out because he realizes that we both work and there is no way I can do it all. Scott is the kind of man I want both Matthew and Jonathan to grow up to be. I just wish we could have found each other sooner and avoided a lot of wasted time. To think, we went to school together and never hooked up.

Scott and I have accomplished many dreams together, including the birth of our son Jonathan and have many more dreams to fulfill together. Our current goal is to get a larger home for our family that has a yard and ample space for all of us. It may take awhile for this dream to be fulfilled, but I know we can accomplish it together. If we can accomplish this goal, we plan to accomplish the goal of having another child together. We know, time is running short and our biological clocks are ticking, but I can not help to have the hope that some day all of our dreams will come true.

Love you all!

Angie

Every single day I am worried about how I am raising Jonathan.  I don’t want to be too harsh and pushy, yet I don’t want to spoil him and be too lax either.  I want him to be independent, but love it when he depends on me.  It seems there is a very fine line to deal with here, and I want to do it perfectly…for him to grow to be the best man he could ever be.  He has developed emotions, like a total compassion for animals.  While he still likes to chase the cats around sometimes, there is nothing like watching your son walk up to his kitty and give him a hug and kiss.  If someone is upset or crying, you can see the concern in his face and he will go up to the person and give them a kiss or hug.  He is also very silly, and loves to make people laugh.  Once he sees that something he has done has made you laugh, or made you happy…he will do that same thing over and over and over again.  He is happy, and wants everyone else to be happy.  But, there are times when he is upset…quite upset.  I think the terrible two’s are arriving because sometimes there isn’t anything you can do to make him happy.  And, I think that his inability to tell us everything he wants to tell us, or our inability to recognize what he is trying to say just makes it worse.  Just last night, he kept saying the same thing over and over again when he was upset, and we can’t figure out what it is that he is trying to tell us.  This HAS to be more frustrating to him than it is to us.  What FINALLY got him to settle down last night was giving him three M&M’s because we thought maybe he was trying to say “candy”, and I know that needs to stop.  If we hush him with candy or food all the time, he will grow up thinking that every time he is upset he needs to eat…kind of like his Mommy.  Or, he will learn that all he has to do to get candy is throw a fit…won’t that be fun to deal with at the check-out line of the grocery store? 

This past weekend, the potty chair made it’s grand appearance into our home.  I had actually purchased it when he was 18 months old so it would be ready when he was.  We decided to get it out and let him get used to sitting on it.  He does, and likes to because of the applause he receives, but he has also been attempting to stand in it.  I believe he is ready to start with the potty training process.  Just a few weeks ago he pointed to a toilet in one of his books and said “poo poo”, and he knows what “poo poo” is.  He hasn’t started telling us when he has gone yet, but I know he knows.  A lady I work with has a six year old son, and a little girl that is a few months younger than Jonathan.  We were talking a little while back and I told her that Jonathan hasn’t even started potty training yet.  She went off!  “What?  You haven’t even STARTED potty training him yet?  Oh my gosh!  Taven (her son) was potty trained by the time he was two and Chloe has been training for months”.  That didn’t go over well with me at all, and I said sarcastically “Well, I guess Jonathan isn’t as wonderful as your son!” and I went on to tell her that he hasn’t shown me that he is ready yet.  One thing I have both heard and read, is that you shouldn’t push, or even start potty training, until they show they are ready.  At Jonathan’s two year check-up last week, I told the doctor all of this and he said that Jonathan is NOT delayed at all in potty training and that some don’t show readiness until they are nearly three years old.  He also said that the biggest mistake parents make is pushing their children into it too soon and scarring their children as a result.  He said that many mothers look at it as a competition, so they can be able to tell everyone that their child was potty trained early.  While it would be nice to be able to say Jonathan is potty trained already, it isn’t near worth it to me to force that to happen and possibly scar him in some way just to have that privilege.  Anyhow, probably next weekend Jonathan will be running around without any pants on and we will constantly be asking him if he has to use the potty and go “pee pee” or “poo poo”.  If he doesn’t catch on to it, I will be putting the chair away and we will try it again in a month.  I will NOT push him.  He will do it when he is good and ready.  No need to give him a complex or something just because he isn’t ready, and there is no reason to stress myself out trying to get him to do it before he is either.

While Jonathan and life in general have pretty much taken up most of my free time, I have taken some time to start trying to draw in color.  That is HARD, and there is a lot I still need to learn.  My mom got me a bunch of color pencils and books on drawing in color for Christmas, and I couldn’t wait to use them.  However, it is starting to get hard to keep from getting discouraged with.  My will to get it right, though, supersedes my will to give in to my frustrations and give up.  I am determined to use my frustrations in a positive manner and defeat the color demons.  I just need to realize that it will take some time, and patience is not a strong quality in me.  Below, you will see the two portraits I have done so far.

евтини мебели

My first drawing was of Joe and Chelsea’s (my sister) sweet and beautiful Siberian Husky, Buddy

My second drawing was of my Mom and Bruce’s handsome and loveable Australian Shepherd, Eli

I think I have ranted enough in this entry.  I just had some things I needed to get out there on paper…some venting, and I am hoping for some advice.  Experienced moms welcome!

Angie

Monday afternoon came, and I went to my doctor’s appointment glad that I had made it because I had gotten ill over the weekend with an upper respiratory infection that I wanted to have him look at, on top of checking me for diabetes and looking at my thyroid testing (because I looked on the internet and it said that thyroid issues could also affect menstruation).  My appointment was 2:30 pm and I waited miserably for my name to be called…because the waiting room was packed, my nose was running and I didn’t want to blow it in front of people.  Yeah…I am a little weird about that.  So, I sat there waiting with a Kleenex in hand wiping the running nose until my name was called a little after 4:00 pm.  I finally went into the patient room and waited another 10 minutes for the doctor to come in.  This is where it all went bad.  See, I wasn’t concentrating on my bleeding or the cramps that had gotten worse at this point.  I have a tendency to think I am over-reacting to things and didn’t make a big deal about it.  Here’s how the appointment went.  I told him that I wanted to get tested for diabetes because it had been about two years since I had Jonathan and after I had him I was told to get my sugar checked yearly since I had Gestational Diabetes during the pregnancy.  I also told him that I wanted to get my thyroid checked.  I didn’t go into detail as to why and he didn’t ask.  Then, I told him I developed this terrible cold over the weekend that I also wanted him to look at for me.  He did, and said that they could draw blood for both the diabetes and thyroid test at his office and that the nurse would be in shortly to do so.  She came in and drew the blood.  Best blood draw I ever had, by the way.  After she left she said it would be about 5 minutes for the results of the diabetes test but that they had to send the blood work away for the thyroid and that it would take a few days.  She said the doctor would be in shortly to discuss the results of the diabetes test with me.  About 10 minutes later I couldn’t take it anymore and went to the bathroom in the waiting room.  While in there I noticed that the bleeding was worse.  When I went back to the room, the doctor was waiting on me.  He told me that I tested normal and did not have diabetes, and proceeded to tell me that they would call me once they got the results of the thyroid test if they were negative.  I then asked him what other symptoms there were to hypothyroidism other than being tired all the time and he named some off to me, not mentioning the bleeding between periods.  So, I asked him if bleeding between periods was a symptom.  He said it is a possibility since the thyroid controls so many functions, but the bleeding could be caused so by many things…the female body is a complicated machine and so forth.  So, I left it at that and so did he.  I didn’t go into my details and he didn’t ask.  I actually felt rather rushed since he was running so far behind and didn’t want to be a burden about something that could have been nothing.  So, he wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic to take for the cold and I left to go fill it.

That evening, I took my first pill about a half hour before eating dinner, and about a half hour later I had the worst stomach pains ever.  I went to the bathroom thinking maybe that was the problem, but as I tried it just hurt worse and worse.  I actually felt like I was going to pass out and lost my hearing for a few seconds.  I made it into the bedroom and curled up onto the bed crying, feeling like I was in labor and having contractions in my tummy as well as down lower.  Scott came in just as the pains were settling down a little bit.  We read the pharmacy slip that came with the prescription and it said it could cause stomach cramping, so we thought that must have been the problem.  Now, the thought did enter my mind that maybe I was miscarrying, but I didn’t want to believe that thought either…and it really could have been the antibiotic.  So, I didn’t take any more of that antibiotic and called the doctor’s office the next day to get them to call in a different one for me.  They did, and I started taking it the next evening (Tuesday).  The cramping wasn’t going away. It wasn’t the same cramping that I had the night before but it wasn’t going away completely yet.  I figured it must take awhile, or that my tummy must have been sore from all the cramping it went through the night before.  I didn’t go to work Tuesday, in part because of the cold but mostly because of the cramps.    Tuesday was also the worst day of the bleeding.  Wednesday morning came and I went to work, but decided to call my OBGYN to see if I could get in because the cramping and bleeding weren’t subsiding.  The earliest they could get me in was Friday, so I made the appointment for that day.  I called Mom and Scott and told them this and neither of them thought I should wait that long.  At this point, neither did I…I was getting pretty scared.  Plus, mom had talked to my cousin Sandy who is a nurse and she said that what I was describing to mom sounded like an ectopic pregnancy.  So, after much debate, I decided to leave work around Noon and let mom take me to the ER at Upper Valley Hospital.  Even as we were sitting for hours waiting in the ER, I was worried about all this being for nothing.  I was sure it would end up being something like a bad case of gas.  Scott was on his way from Columbus and mom was putting her day on hold for this, and I was afraid it would be such a waste of time.  About 15 minutes after I got into a room at the ER to get looked at, Scott arrived, while they were getting a urine sample from me.  They had already taken my blood.  We waited about 45 minutes for the doctor to come back in with the results of those tests.  When he arrived he told us that all the tests came back normal, except for the pregnancy test.  I was pregnant, and with my symptoms it was most likely ectopic.  So, they quickly got me in to get an ultrasound but didn’t see anything in the uterus, however that didn’t really mean anything because it could be too young to see in the uterus.  The real tell-tale was the quantitive hCG count that gave them an approximate age of the fetus, and going by my last menstrual cycle which would have probably make it about 3 1/2 weeks old.  I had to be admitted at this point, and was told I would have to be scoped out and either have surgery or be given a drug that is used to cancer patients that shrinks cells and would hopefully shrink the fetus enough so that it could pass naturally without surgery.  The OBGYN on site would need to determine this and would see me in the morning.

I got into my room around 9 pm that evening.  By that time mom had already left to pick up Jonathan from my sister so she could keep him overnight for us.  Scott left around 10:00 pm to go home and get some of my things for me, and got back around 11:15 pm.  I was so glad he got back then, because the OBGYN decided to stop by around 11:30 pm.  At this point he gave us an option to think about until he came back the following morning…and it was too overwhelming for me to take in by myself.  He gave us an option of going ahead with the scoping the following day where he would remove the fetus if he found it, or waiting until Friday to take another quantitive hCG count to see if the amount doubled.  If the quant doubled then they would re-do the ultrasound to see if they could see it, and see if it was in the uterus or not.  We were shocked!  At this point, we had been led to believe that it was definitely an ectopic pregnancy.  We weren’t thinking that there was a chance of it being in the uterus.  Here’s the kicker, if the fetus was in the uterus, there was a risk with going ahead with the scoping because of the anesthesia…there is a chance it could kill the fetus.  We asked what the chance is of it being in the uterus and he told us it was about 50%.  We then asked what the chances were of it dying as a result of the anesthesia if we went ahead with the scoping and surgery and he couldn’t give us that chance.  Thank goodness we had until the following morning to think it over.  Scott got on the internet, and I got on the phone to my mom to fill her in.  Scott found some figures on the anesthesia where about 1.7% of babies are affected by it, and we determined that something is definitely not right with this pregnancy anyhow since I was cramping and bleeding so bad that we decided to go ahead with the scoping.

The doctor came in around 11:30 AM Thursday morning and we told him of our decision and he said he would get me in between 2:30 and 3:00 that afternoon for the scoping/surgery.  Dad and Deb were called and they came down to see me go in.  When I went in the emotions were high…I was scared, but very comforted by the fact that my mom, dad, Deb, and Scott were all there to support me. 

I woke up in recovery at 5:15 pm and was taken back to my room, with everyone waiting on my return.  And, I was told I may be going home that evening.  Shortly after I was back in my room Chelsea came in with Jonathan.  He was such a site for me to see, and seemed a little confused as to why his mommy was laying in a hospital bed.  Time kept on ticking and the doctor hadn’t come to release me yet so Dad and Deb left, Chelsea left, and then mom left with Jonathan.  Scott and I continued to wait for the doctor, who finally came in to discharge me around 9:30 pm.  The ride home sucked…I was so nauseous from the anesthesia and pain medication.  Scott even stopped on the side of the highway at one point to look for something for me to get sick in.  I didn’t though…I made it home.  I got home and got onto my computer before heading to bed, and tried to eat some cereal to get rid of the queasy feeling I had.  Well, I got rid of it and Scott had to do some computer clean-up after putting me to bed.  That night and Friday morning were so very painful.  I never thought I could be in so much pain.  I was so thankful when Scott got back from the pharmacy Friday morning with my pain medications…it made a lot of difference. 

The rest of the day Friday I was still in quite a bit of pain, but it didn’t compare to what I had felt before.  I felt like I could at least move a little bit.  It’s hard to describe.  I had another doctor’s appointment Friday afternoon to see the doctor who did the surgery and he said he didn’t want me to go back to work until Dec. 1st.  Scott no more got me home from that then he had to go get Matthew for the weekend.  Mom brought Jonathan back home that evening and I felt so happy to have my baby back.  I knew he was in great care, but I missed him so much.  He was all I could think about while I was in the hospital. 

It wasn’t until today, Saturday, that it hit me…and it hit HARD!!!  I lost a baby!  Yes, it wasn’t meant to be and it couldn’t have worked but I wanted it to…I still do, and I don’t know how long it will take me to get over the terrible loss I feel right now.  I keep thinking that Jonathan could have had a little brother or sister, and find myself wondering if it was a boy or girl, and asking why.  Why didn’t it work?  I don’t know if it was the pain, or if my mind was stronger than my heart at first, but now my heart is stronger than my mind and missing something I never even really had, and only knew about for a little over 24 hours.   I know my hormones are all whacked out right now, but that doesn’t make me feel better, and it doesn’t keep me from feeling like I had failed.  My body had failed, to give this baby a full life…to allow it to make it’s safe journey to my uterus and survive.  Scott has been absolutely wonderful through all of this, but I know he feels it too.  I can see it in his eyes, and feel in an odd way that I had let him down too.  I know I couldn’t have done anything different…that it isn’t really my fault this baby is looking down at us from heaven right now instead of growing healthily in my wound but my heart tells me differently.  I have a wonderful family, including a sister that really helped me today.  She had miscarried a few years back, and now we can truly understand how one another feels.  The blessing is that we can be there better for each other now.  But, I just hope that baby knows, as he is looking down at us from heaven, just how much he is truly loved…even though we never met.

Love,
Angie

Most of that still remains the same with the obvious exception of not being in the marching band anymore…and this year, I get to enjoy taking my little beggar out Trick-Or-Treating for the first time. This year, he will be Charlie Brown. Since last Halloween was over we have talked about it because he has been so slow to get any hair. And now, even though he has some hair, we decided we are still going to stick with that plan. His hair is light so it won’t show up much in the dark, and an eyeliner “curly-q” on his forehead will be so cute as he struts around wearing his yellow shirt with the black zig-zag and a little Snoopy dog dressed in his own little Halloween outfit. I want to thank Mom for purchasing both of these items for his outfit. I can’t wait to see him all dressed up in it, and you can bet we will be posting pictures of him on one or all of our sites for everyone to see. We took Matthew with us to Walmart last weekend and he chose his outfit too. He decided he was going to be a Zombie this year. His initial plan was to be a GI Joe guy, but the Zombie outfit really grabbed his attention. He tried it on after we brought it home and Jonathan wasn’t too thrilled about the mask at all. I am hoping we are able to get both of them in their outfits for at least one picture together…we will have to see if Jonathan allows that to happen.

One thing I am missing about my late falls is the napping. I tend to want to hibernate some evenings during these months, and now that Jonathan has gone down to one nap a day, he will not take naps in the evenings anymore. He is much more interested in coming home from Mom’s or Chelsea’s house after I get off work and playing with the toys that are waiting for him when he gets home. It’s as if they are calling his name when he walks (or is carried) in the door and he is obligated to answer their pleading calls for attention. Even if he is obviously tired and falls asleep just before pulling in the driveway, he won’t allow me to put him into his crib…a nap is completely out of the question. I don’t even try anymore…it has become a lost cause.

Nonetheless, Fall definitely remains my favorite season. It is way too beautiful of a season and gives me too much of a warm comfortable “happy to be at home” feeling not to be.

It all started about a year ago, when I started trying to draw on my own. I made a few drawings, copying from pictures of Jonathan and Matthew and showed them to mom. I needed work on the shading and really just didn’t know where to start with it until my mom went out and bought me a book and a bunch of drawing supplies a few weeks ago. Since studying the book, I feel like I have improved quite a bit with each drawing I have done. I really want to thank my mom for believing in me and encouraging me to follow this dream, and to keep me going when I got discouraged…and believe me, I have gotten discouraged to the point to where I almost stopped it all together. I am glad I didn’t though.

composite triple beat

Below you will see the drawings I have done in the order I have done them…

This was my very first attempt at drawing features from the book my mom got me. From what you can see, my mouths and noses needed quite a bit of work, but I believe that my eye is totally awesome!

This is my first attempt at drawing a picture that was in the book. Pretty good for my first time, but things weren’t really aligned correctly and my mouth just wasn’t right…

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Then, I drew a picture of my mom…then myself…my sister Chelsea…and my dad…

Then came a picture of myself as a baby. I tried adding color to it, but don’t really have a grasp on it yet. I think that it looked much better before I added the color, and regretted not taking a picture of it before adding it…

I wanted to draw some people with darker hair so I began looking for new subjects. I chose to draw one of my friend’s grandchildren from work. The baby, especially, has darker hair. I am particularly happy with the picture I drew of her older grandchild. He has the most beautiful blue eyes and I wanted to attempt to draw them…

So, this is where I am now. I hope you can see an improvement in them. I am finding I am less disappointed in every drawing I do. I am almost feeling confident enough to attempt to draw Jonathan and Matthew. Before now, I was afraid I would be really disappointed in them because they are so perfect in my eyes…maybe now I won’t be so disappointed.

Anyhow, just thought I’d share this with you all! Thanks for listening and taking the time to look!

Love,
Angie

When asked what my favorite holiday is, I will usually say it’s Valentine’s Day.  But, in reality it is only Valentine’s Day when I have someone special to share it with.  And now, I have Scott who is the love of my life.  I believe that he is the one person in this world that I am destined to be with forever.  Now, ask me what my favorite holiday is when I don’t have him in my life and I will probably say that Christmas is my favorite holiday, and Valentine’s Day would be at the bottom of my list.  It can be an awful day for those who don’t have anyone to share it with.  I remember many depressing Valentine’s Days in my past, either having no one, or having someone in my life that wasn’t the right person to share the holiday with.  My mother always knew this and would get me flowers when I didn’t have anyone to get them for me.  She knows her daughter!

The odd thing about sharing the holiday with Scott is that I know that he doesn’t care for Valentine’s Day.  That does make it hard, and it is very hard for me to understand at times.  If you have someone special in your life, shouldn’t the holiday be embraced and be an exciting event for you?  I just don’t get it, but that is one of the many ways in which we are so different.  I am more of an emotional, romantic, wear your feelings on your sleeve kind of person where Scott is a person that often hides his feelings, making me wonder if he has any.  This is a big struggle for us at times, believe me.  But this year, Scott got me a wonderful gift and took the time to find the perfect one for me…a book that commemorates us, personalized by him, the stars, and historic events.  He also got me a dozen roses, which I ALWAYS love to receive.  Knowing that he did this for me because he knows that this holiday means so much to me makes this Valentine’s Day so special for me.  Maybe he learned his lesson last year when I received nothing…that was not such a good Valentine’s Day.  So, while he doesn’t embrace this holiday, knowing that he knows it means so much to me and has acted on it is the best gift I could ever receive from him.  It’s not about the stuff as much as knowing that I am thought of specially on this day.

The boys did well for their Valentine’s Day too, both of them receiving four cards; one from each of their Great-Aunts, their Grandma and Grandpa Rank, and us.  And they both got some money for their piggy banks.  Well, Jonathan did.  Matthew probably can not wait to spend his and will likely take his money with him when we go to Wal-Mart for groceries this weekend.

In other news, Cajun gets to spend this Valentine’s Day being more fresh and clean, and less hairy than he has in a long, long time.  Below you will see the end result (I couldn’t get him to give me a side profile of his body), and a picture of all the hair I got out of him.  Doesn’t he look spiffy?  Now he is cuddly soft and will probably receive more hugs this Valentines day (at least he has from me already, I still don’t think Scott has even touched him yet).  Now, to get that breath in check.  He got a teeth brushing, but his breath still smells like something crawled in there and died.

That’s all I have to say today.  Besides, Jonny has been bugging me to use my computer.  I think he wants to write a blog today as well.

Wishing you best Valentines Day ever!

Love,
Angie

Friday evening, I picked him up from mom’s house and he seemed okay…he seemed very tired, but in a decent mood.  Mom said the only odd thing about his behavior that day was that he really wasn’t into eating his lunch…it was a very slow process.  Anyhow, Jonathan fell asleep on the way home, which I totally expected and I brought him in and took his coat, hat and scarf off.  At this time I thought he seemed a little warm, but didn’t really think much of it because he often does after being bundled up like he was.  So, I put him in his crib and he slept for about 45 minutes. 

When he got up at around 6:30 pm, he was terribly fussy…again warm, but he was crying an awful lot.  I put him in his playpen with his bottle and he cried until I got his food ready to feed him.  He cried constantly during his meal…in between bites and such, and his cry was unlike any other I have heard from him.  I again felt his head and he was burning up!  I took his temperature and it was 102.7, so I rushed him to the emergency room around 7:30.  Before I left I called Scott to tell him, and then my mother, and on the way there I called my dad.  I hated being alone and taking my baby to the emergency room, obviously, and was a terrible wreck, worried that something was terribly wrong with him.  Whether I should have taken him to the emergency room or not…I don’t know.  All I know is that my baby was inconsolable and carrying a very high fever so without question I got him bundled up and headed to the hospital. 

By the time they took his temperature in the pre-screen room he had a fever of 103.  We waited in the waiting area only about five minutes before being taken back.  The doctor checked him out..his ears, throat, stomach and heartbeat…everything looked okay but some lymph nodes that were just slightly swollen in his neck.  He said the fever could be the start of some kind of infection but couldn’t really give me any more details.  He ordered some Motrin for him, and Jonathan and I waited for the nurse to come and give it to him and tell us that it would take the doctor awhile to get to the discharge papers because they were pretty busy that night.  So, we waited for probably 30 minutes before Scott and Matthew got there (Scott had gone to pick up Matthew and was running late due to the icy roads he ran into), and then we all waited about another 30 minutes before another nurse came in to check on Jonathan’s temperature.  This time it read 100.7…much better!  Another nurse came in to check his heart-rate, and said it was a little fast but that it was normal for a baby to have a high heart rate while carrying a fever.  She then gave us the discharge papers and we were finally off and on our way home a little after 9:00 pm.  He was diagnosed with Febnle Illness, which I guess means a fever…according to the nurse. By the time Jonathan went to bed around 10:30 that night, his fever was down to normal. Scott and I were guessing that he may just be teething because he was also drooling an awful lot, and when I had mentioned that to mom she said he had been drooling a lot during the day too.  Friday night he got us up about four times during the night crying, it was a rough night but his fever was still down.

He kept the fever down all day Saturday too but really wasn’t drinking or eating anything and was quite fussy…so we were still concerned, continuing with the Motrin and Tylenol and even putting Baby Orajel on his gums.  Still not eating, and man…when is the boy going to sleep?!?!  That night he slept a little bit better.  We put him to bed around 9:30, and he woke up at 11:30 crying.  We both went in, gave him a bottle and he drank about 3-1/2 ounces which was great compared to the amounts he had been drinking.  We took turns rocking him trying to settle him down, and finally put him back to bed around 12:30 am.  After at least 20 minutes of “crying it out”, he finally fell asleep until around 2:00 am, when he had another brief crying spell.  But, he slept until 8:00 am this morning. 

Today, he didn’t look like Jonny…he had a different look about him in his eyes that is hard to explain.  I am thinking it was just because he was so tired from the lack of sleep he had gotten the past few days.  Still, he didn’t have a fever and after Scott and Matthew left to go to a Cub Scout Pine Derby event Matthew had at around 12:15 I laid him down for a nap and he slept about 45 minutes.  After he got up, he seemed to be in a better mood and after playing on the floor for about an hour, I tried again to feed him…with total success!  He ate all of his macaroni and cheese, peas, and applesauce.  I left him in his highchair with a bottle of juice he started out drinking really well and went to put a roast in the crock pot.  By the time I got back into the room, he was fast asleep in his highchair.  I felt him and he felt warm so I took his temperature and it was 101.1.  So, I gave him some Tylenol and put him to bed.  What is up with this…he finally eats well, and he gets his fever back?  Anyhow, he went right to sleep around 4:00 pm and didn’t get up until 8:30 pm.  I checked his fever at 7:00 and it was still at 101.1 so I wanted to get some Motrin in him since the Tylenol didn’t seem to do much for him.  We got him up, changed him into his pajamas and now he is on the floor playing with his toys.  He got a good run of sleep and I think that has him feeling pretty good right now.  He drank about 6 ounces of juice and seems to be in a good mood.  I am about to try and feed him some oatmeal if his fever is lowered and we will be putting him to bed.  We are hoping he sleeps as well tonight as he did during his four and a half hour nap, but we are still wondering….What is wrong with Jonathan?

If you have any comments on what you think is wrong with him, please let me know.  It is bugging me to no end not knowing what is wrong and I know it won’t stop bothering me until I either find out, or he is better.  But, even if he gets better I still want to know!  Do you think he is teething?  Do babies do all this with teething?  And, what is up with the fever coming back at the time he finally eats something for me?  And, I don’t know what to do about tomorrow.  The discharge papers say to follow-up with Jonathan’s doctor if the fever is not down, or he shows localized discomfort.  WasI too quick in taking him to the emergency room, and do I take him to his doctor tomorrow?  I sure don’t know.  This is the part of being a mommy that I really do not like!

Comments are welcome, as always…

Love,
Jonathan’s worried Mommy

Jonathan walking!

He has such an ornery side to him as well…he gets that from his father.  One thing he is doing right now that is a little bothersome is that he has this thing with slapping people in the face.  Now, he’s young so it doesn’t hurt most of the time, but the bothersome thing about it is that he gets such a kick out of it.  I have been telling him “no” every time he does this to me, or I see him do it to someone else, but I am not sure it is sinking in.  Just tonight, he laughed when I grabbed his hand and told him “no”.  Let’s hope this is just a short phase and he stops.  I am wondering if I should just start ignoring the action now.  Maybe if he stops getting a response of any kind, he will get bored with it and stop on his own.  I’m kind of at a loss as to how to handle this.  But, that is just one example of his orneriness.  His little personality is just great…he has one heck of a sense of humor and just loves to laugh at himself.  Maybe he will become a comedian someday.

Another part of his personality that I am really starting to see is his sensitive side.  He is a loveable little man…willing to give all kinds of hugs and kisses (mostly hugs) to people.  I have seen him love up on Grammy and Auntie Chelsea, as well as myself and Scott.  He can be such a little sweetheart…a side that we couldn’t see when he was a newborn. 

Still, I feel I had him only a few months ago and miss those newborn times, as tiring as they may have been.  Don’t get me wrong…I think as a toddler he is even more tiring…sleeping less during the day and wanting to constantly expound all of the energy that he stores in his little body.  Yet, I miss rocking him back to sleep after his feedings in the middle of the night while listening to his lullabies and crying tears of happiness because I just couldn’t believe he was mine during the first few months he was home.  It’s funny what you miss…at that time I wasn’t too happy about the middle of the night feedings all the time, rather annoyed most times even.  But, he sleeps well throughout the night now which is just wonderful.  He will sleep an average of 10-11 hours easy on the weekends, and gets about 9 hours of sleep during the week because we wake him up to go to the babysitters every morning.

I know I am rambling on and on…please forgive me.  I am just a mother whom, while loving to watch her little one grow, also hates it at the same time.  It’s a strange feeling, and I fear I will wake up tomorrow and have to take him to his first day of kindergarten (oh, how scary that will be for me).  

Anyhow, Scott made a video of Jonathan’s first birthday.  Watch it and see how much my baby boy has grown…

My First Birthday

Love, Angie